


[DISCONTINUED Permatwist

by orphan_account



Category: Hermitcraft RPF
Genre: Angst, Bdubs is a fucking hypocrite, Blood and Gore, Blood and Injury, Character Death, Ex and Hels are more chaotic than evil, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Grian has wings from when he was a watcher, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Major Character Injury, Mental Health Issues, Minecraft Personas ONLY!!, Multi, Other, Permatwist AU, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, Real Life Shipping Is Gross, Self-Harm, Serious Injuries, Shipping, Suicidal Thoughts, Temporary Character Death, The Hermits are separate people from their online characters, Trauma, Watcher Grian, Xisuma and Ex are twins, Xisuma is a dad friend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:21:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25419115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: A universe where the Hermitcraft Season 7 server takes place, only this time, the server is on permadeath.What would happen if a few hermits died, but came back less than human?[Story discontinued for the time being; need a step back for my mental health]
Relationships: BdoubleO100/Docm77, Docm77/BdoubleO100, Grian/MumboJumbo, Helsknight/Evil Xisuma, Many Platonic Ones, MumboJumbo/Grian, Past Grian/Taurtis, Tango Tek/Zedaph (Video Blogging RPF), TangoTek/Zedaph/ImpulseSV, Zedaph/impulseSV, impulseSV/Tango Tek (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 45
Kudos: 412





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> [IMPORTANT PLOT INFORMATION]
> 
> Players that die do not die immediately, their bodies stay on the server for 5 minutes before de-spawning. A player can be revived in this state under the circumstances that a MOB killed them. The twist in Permatwist is that they before half of the mob they died to.
> 
> All unnatural half hybrids, the players that die, will transform into their 'natural' forms at night. This form is more mob than human.
> 
> Their human forms still have noticeable mob characteristics, though, they can be easily hidden.
> 
> Unnatural hybrids have the chance for their mob instincts to take over, resulting in them attempting to attack players.
> 
> There is occasionally a night or day glitch that results in the time of day cycle glitching. Sometimes during these the mob instincts issue will occur, basically resulting in chaos.
> 
> Revived hermits can shift from natural to human at will and vice versa, but their emotions can also contribute to it. Anger can naturally shift them from human to natural and other emotions can bring out certain characteristics of them.
> 
> The injury that resulted in a hermits death appears on their body as a scar.
> 
> -

The sun was rising over the Hermitcraft server as a gentle breeze had the leaves on the trees swaying softly. Chickens clucked as sheep nuzzled up to their offspring to keep them warm. Flowers bloomed under the bright sun up in the clear sky. The world was silent, minus the soft buzzing of bees, the sounds from the animals, and the mechanical noises of red stone.

Everything was peaceful and calm on the permadeath server..  
  
  


Or so it seemed.  
  
  


"XANTHUS _WHAT THE HELL_ DID YOU DO TO MY HELMET!" The bee-themed admin shouted as he flung his twin's front door open. Eyes somewhat frantically looking around the entrance hallway.

There was a long moment of silence before laughter broke out from upstairs. The admin quickly made his way up the stone-brick steps, annoyance extremely clear across his features as he came face to face with his counterpart; Hels stood in the back keeping himself from laughing as Ex looked up at his twin brother.

"Do what? I haven't done _anything_." He said innocently, though, the mischievous smile growing across his face definitely said otherwise.

"You _know_ what you did!" Xisuma said, summoning his helmet into his hands, which just made Hels laugh harder and resulted in Ex beginning to laugh too as he stepped away from his twin, admiring the wonderful artwork he and Hels did on the helmet.

It was a bright pink color now, doodles all over it along with things that would just straight up embarrass anybody.

Sure, Ex and Hels couldn't do what they were originally supposed to do; cause major problems, since Xisuma would most definitely have them banned. Even with that set, they still found ways to get their urges to cause chaos out.

Such as vandalizing Xisuma's helmet.

"You two are so immature!" Xisuma said, flustering enough that the tips of his ears tinted red. "No one even bothered to mention it except Etho! I ran around for _eight hours_ getting laughed at by everyone!" He squawked, which made Ex and Hels laugh harder.

"God, no wonder you guys are together-" Xisuma murmured, getting two flushed faces in return.

Ex sputtered for a moment, trying to find his words "We are not dating!" He said, getting an eye roll from Xisuma and an offended gasp from Hels.

The knightly male moved to stand behind Ex, wrapping his arms around the shorter's waist and resting his chin on Ex's shoulder. "What are you talking about darling? We're totally dating~" He cooed, watching the red-cladded male's face flush more as Xisuma laughed.

They weren't actually dating; though, Ex and Hels would never have the guts to tell the other their _true_ feelings.

Ex shoved Hels' head off his shoulder with a sigh. "Shut your trap, Hels." He scoffed, crossing his arms; in result, Hels moved to rest his head on Ex's while he kept his arms around his waist.

Xisuma rolled his eyes and smiled. "Whatever you two say-" He began, but his expression quickly dropped as he deadpanned at the two. "Though, if you two continue this type of thing I won't be afraid to ban you." The admin laughed lightly, obviously joking.

Memories of the void came rushing back to Ex and he flinched. His mind replayed the torture of the void as he bit his lip.

The void was always harsh to players sent there from a ban, but since he was a _void walker_ , something that _came_ from there, his treatment was a thousand times _worse_.

Hell, he barely came out of it alive.

Ex never told anybody about what he experienced. He could barely stomach it himself and spent nights curled up in bed terrified that he would screw up and end up stuck there again; because of this, telling _anybody_ about it was out of the question for now. Even Xisuma.

In result, a meaningless threat of being sent back _there_ was enough to straighten him out.

He scoffed slightly and kept his gaze at the wooden floors. "Yeah yeah, fine."

Hels blinked, staring down at the shorter male below him. "Oh, what? Really? You can't be serious dear." He said, expression shifting to a frown since Ex never gave in this quickly. Xisuma just gave a slight nod, taking his helmet with him as he left.

"Since when does the big and bad Evil X give in that easily?" Hels purred, leaning against the wall as he raised a brow.

"Shut your ass up or I'll mess with your helmet too."

Hels gasped dramatically. "You would never!"

Ex smirked and moved to be face to face with Hels, their noses touching as he raised a brow; smirk growing wider as he watched Hels turn bright red.

"You don't know what I would and wouldn't do~"  
  
  
-

  
Xisuma got straight back to his base and cleaned off his helmet, not wanting to risk anymore encounters with Hermits and even more embarrassment. The bee cladded male slid his helmet back on and huffed, stretching before he opened his elytra and shot off to another part of his base.

He skidded to a halt in front of his portal and hummed slightly, glancing around at the many dogs still surrounding it, they panted softly as the wagging of their tails grew when Xisuma went around petting each of them. 'Joe really needs to get here and deal with these dogs' He thought, laughing out loud as one of the pups basically knocked him over and began to lick at his helmet.

Xisuma pulled the dog off with a soft smile, squishing its face together with a small "Who's a good boy" before he got up; he was willing to admit, when Joe did take the dogs he was definitely going to be disappointed.

"Maybe I could convince Joe to let me keep one or two." He said to himself as he stepped through the swirling purple portal. The shift in temperature was definitely noticed as he lifted his arm and tapped the button on the side of his helmet, unlocking it as he slipped off the top half, leaving on the mouth part.

He teleported the top half back to his base and smirked, honestly loving that part of being an admin. "Admin abuse" or not, he wasn't going to stop.

Xisuma mentally went through what he had to do that day and headed towards the shopping district portal, he went through and somewhat sighed in relief at the temperature change again. Anything was better than the heat of the nether.

He waved slightly at the hermits he passed by and headed to Grian's barge, needing to buy some more rockets for later.

"Heya Ex-eye-zooma!" The brit heard Grian call out and turned around from the bundle deal box, watching the strawberry blonde fly over and land next to him.

"Hello, Grian." Xisuma said in return, smiling under the mouth bit of his mask as Grian glanced over at the box the taller male was looking at and grinned.

"Looking at the bundle deal for rockets?" Grian asked, leaning against the box as his purple wings folded behind his back.

Xisuma looked the other up and down. "Maybe I am, maybe I'm not." He replied, watching as Grian smiled "It's a good price.." The admin said, tapping his chin before he went over to the end chest in the middle of the barge, taking out the 13 diamonds the price had read and turned back to the ex-watcher. "So it's a deal."

Grian grinned, picking up the shulker and giving it to Xisuma, taking the diamonds in return. "Pleasure doing business with you!" He said, getting a nod from the admin as Xisuma put the shulker in his inventory and waved slightly. Xisuma warped the top part of his helmet back to him and clicked it on before he left.  
  


-  
  


Xisuma got back to his base and groaned, it had started to rain so he basically stepped out straight into the rain. His first line of action was to get the dogs under some sort of shelter and waiting it out with them.

Thankfully, the rain didn't last long and the sun was quickly back in the bright blue sky again. Xisuma wiped off his visor to clear it of the stray water droplets before double-checking his elytra and sliding his rockets into his off-hand. With a content him he spread his elytra and set off a rocket, soaring up into the sky and to his bee farm to collect the honey. The memory that the automatic system which had broken a few days prior popped back into his head and he began to go over how he could fix it.

He landed as gracefully as he could manage and looked around, slipping his elytra off as he headed over to one of the many chests and took out a few glass bottles.

The smoke from the campfires has Xisuma convinced that they were still lit, so the brunette hadn't bothered checking to see if it truest was still going. So, unbeknownst to the admin, the smoke emerging from the unlit remains was from when the rain had put the campfire out.

The beehives looked empty from the outside, empty of any sign of motion. So Xisuma quickly got to work in collecting the honey, managing to get most of them done in a short time period.

A sudden sharp pain shot through his arm and he gasped, cringing as the full glass bottles dropped to the ground around him, some breaking and some cracking as honey spilled out across the floor.

He felt the poisoning effect shoot through his body and winced, stumbling as he turned around and was immediately met by at least ten, very angry bees.

Xisuma swore and stepped back, not noticing that another four bees had emerged from their hives and had flown up behind him.

A sting to the neck followed by another three stings had him gasping, taking out his sword and blindly swiping at the red-eyed insects. This, however only made them angrier and he quickly found himself being overwhelmed by the amount.

His health bar was dropping quickly, and Xisuma would be lying if he said that he wasn't terrified, even if he knew he could respawn at will; unlike every player.

The poison quickly overwhelmed him and he couldn't move, his eyes glanced down at the shaking, grey-green heart before another sting had darkness rushing up his vision.

_[Xisumavoid was stung to death by bees]_

  
-  
  


Grian felt something tangle up in his wings and furrowed a brow, moving his wing to be in a reachable spot as he combed his hand through its feathers and grabbed whatever it was that had found its way there. Moving his hand back revealed a singular golden rose, full of life and recently bloomed.

His eyes widened and he was quick to take out his server communicator, being the first one to spot the new message.

" _Oh no_."


	2. Chapter 2

Words would never express the panic that shot through Grian as his eyes locked onto the message in the chat, watching the notifications begin to build up from people noticing the death message.

The communicator slipped from his grasp and he was quick to tuck the golden flower into his jeans pocket; bolting out of 'Lookie Lookie at my Bookie', which he had been looking through. He found himself completely tripping over himself as he quickly fell into and through the portal.

The blistering heat was drowned out by a voice in the back of his head telling him where to go. _Xisuma's bee farm_.

He dodged through the broken bits of the nether that hadn't been cleared out and reached the open part of the nether, even though he hadn't been around Xisuma's portal to his base, he still knew where to go to reach it and quickly flew out into the nether.

There wasn't any real purpose Grian should've been going to find Xisuma. A part of him knew that Xisuma would be the one reviving himself, and he knew that he didn't have any say in the matter.

He just had to be there when Xisuma woke up.

The heat of the nether stung at his eyes and he blinked back the tears that developed as his eyes dried.

Grian flew through Xisuma's portal and crashed on the other side, a broken groan sliding from him before he quickly sat up, ignoring the stars that swirled around his vision before getting up.

The dogs around the area looked at him, watching the panicked male shakily get up and fly into the air.

A soft swear slid from Grian's mouth as he made the realization that he left his communicator back in the shop.

A blur of yellow in the corner of his eye caught his attention and Grian was quick to fly towards it, watching the crumpled figure of Xisuma coming into view before the bee's around him rendered.

Grian landed with a thud and quickly swatted the bee's away from Xisuma, trying to keep himself from angering the bees. It was no use and after a few too many stings, Grian had to kill them. He made a mental note to get Xisuma some more bee's and crouched down by the admin.

Grian could tell Xisuma was already beginning to respawn. A gentle, golden glow, similar to the color of the flower sitting in his pocket emitted from the admin's body. A soft sigh left the male and he sat down next to Xisuma.

Confusion flashed across his face as he stared at the limp body, watching as the glow grew stronger until it faded away.

A short, pained groan could be heard from the bee-themed admin and Grian sat up. "'Suma?"

Xisuma slowly moved a gloved hand up to his eyes and rubbed them before looking over at Grian as he painstakingly sat up.

The first change Grian noticed was his eyes. Xisuma's eyes were always a beautiful, royal purple. They were one of the most visible features of the male, even if Xisuma wasn't a huge fan of them himself.

Now, though. The admin's purple eyes had been replaced with a lemon yellow and a chocolate brown.

The surprise across his face was prominent enough that Xisuma noticed and sat himself up fully, revealing the rest of his bee features. "What?" He muttered, watching Grian's already wide eyes manage to grow wider.

"You- your-" Grian began, but trailed off. A long moment of silence passed between the two before he swallowed stiffly. "You're a bee-"

Xisuma sat there in silence for a moment; staring at Grian before he laughed lightly. "Are you sure you're not the one that got hurt? My outfit throughout this entire season has always been a bee."

"No, you're PHYSICALLY a bee."

Xisuma stared at him, the smile under the mouth part of his mask slowly fading to a frown. "You're joking-"

Grian laughed slightly, it was a breathless laugh. "I wish I was! Hold on-" He quickly cut off as he hastily dug around his inventory for anything reflective, when the search came up empty he quickly stumbled to his feet and helped Xisuma get up. "Where's your nearest mirror—"

"Uh,, my bathroom?"

-

Grian practically flung the spruce door that led to Xisuma's bathroom open, almost knocking it off the hinges. He dragged Xisuma in front of the mirror and moved to stand off to the side. "Look for yourself."

The strawberry blonde watched as Xisuma raised a brow at Grian but glanced over at the mirror; which quickly had him double-taking as Xisuma's eyes widened. He pressed his hands to the sink and leaned in closer to observe his new form.

It wasn't just his eyes that had changed

Streaks of black and yellow ran through his brown hair, bunching up more towards his bangs while the stripes were spread apart closer to the middle of his hair. A set of antennae sat on top of his head, lowering more and more as he continued looking himself over.

Xisuma reached up, clicking the switch that unlocked the mouth bit of his mask before hastily pulling it off.

His eyes gazed over the brown markings across his arms before he took note of his face. The same brown markings across his arms ran across his jawline and halfway up his cheeks.

The admin felt something press against a new appendage in his back and was quick to turn around, noticing as Grian folded his wings so they were back behind his back and away from Xisuma.

Xisuma's eyes gazed over at the set of clear bee wings on his back, blinking in confusion as he slowly moved one of them. "What the f.." He trailed off, running a hand through his now fluffy hair before he pulled his hand back; coming into contact with the antennae.

"I'm- I- I'm a b e e -" Xisuma said breathlessly, rubbing his eyes and almost scratching himself with the now sharper nails as he sunk to the floor. Grian was quick to follow, placing a hand over the other's gloves one.

"Hey hey- you'll adjust, you can get used to this- Erm. It's not that big of a change.?"

Xisuma stumbled over his words, as he looked over at the other. "I'm. A. Bee. That seems like a pretty big change to me!" He said, antennae lowering as he pressed his palms to his eyes and sighed.

Anxiety tugged at his mind as he squeezed his eyes shut, terrified of what everyone would _think_. He wasn't human anymore and acknowledged that, like every time he changed; even if it was just his outfit, he would be laughed at.

Yet, this time, he wouldn't be able to change back now. The realization came crashing down and he teared up, hands beginning to shake. He didn't want to be laughed at again.

Grian recognized the nervousness across the others face and pressed his lips into a thin line "Oh no no no cmon Suma hey- no ones gonna judge you, everyone's gonna understand, you're not gonna be laughed at."

Xisuma sighed shakily, moving his arm up to wipe his eyes. "I- I know I just-" He began, taking a breath. "-The thought is still there. Xisuma muttered, glancing over at the ex watcher. "How'd- how did you know I'd respawn?"

Grian paused, shifting to move back as he reached into his pocket and gently took out the golden flower. "It- it appeared and, from what I remember when I was one of _them,_ it means that someone I know died, but would be back." He explained, watching as Xisuma eyed the rose in his hands.

Xisuma shook his head slightly. "But, you only have a black flower. How would you know about the golden on-" His gaze shifted up to the shorter male's face again and he blinked, noticing the expression on Grian's face fall, the slight glimmer in his eyes faded.

"Ah, I'm sorry Grian, I shouldn't have asked-"

Grian took a breath and smiled slightly, as if he had never looked so.. broken? "It's alright Suma, just, that flower's a bit more 'special'" He said, getting up and holding a hand out for Xisuma.

The admin grabbed his hand and stood up, leaning over to pick up his mouth mask; clicking it back on with a small sigh.

"Cmon, let me show you the wonderful world of flight. I'm pretty sure you can't fly with elytra anymore and you definitely need to get around to assure everyone that you're not dead." Grian began.

"Might want to mention that in the chat too."

Xisuma just laughed slightly and nodded. "Yeah.."

-

"Xisuma died??" The voice coming from the other half of the split mansion had Doc snapping out of his trance as he blinked, grumbling slightly as he pushed himself up from his desk and made his way downstairs; stumbled outside.

"Do you have to be so loud??" Doc called out as his gaze turned to the tanned, freckled male standing outside, eyes locked onto the communicator in his grasp. "And what the hell are you talking about?" He added, walking over to him.

The two had a truce set awhile back and were slowly attempting to rebuild their friendship. That didn't stop them from going back and forth occasionally.

Bdubs bit his lip and hesitantly looked up at the other, tilted his communicator towards him for Doc to see.

Doc 's eyes widened as he read the message over and over. "Oh shit."

"He- he's alive now, but that's basically impossible we're in.. we're in permadeath," Bdubs said, running a hand through his hair.   
  
The communicator buzzed as another message shot through  
  
_< Xisumavoid> I can explain more. Meet in the town hall for a server meeting_

Bdubs and Doc glanced at each other before Bdubs put his communicator away and quickly headed to the nether portal as Doc followed. The two stepped into the swirling, purple portal and transported through  
  
This was going to be a fun meeting.


	3. Chapter 3

Gradually, the hermit meeting room at Xisuma's base began to fill up

Of course, the first ones that arrived there were Grian and the new bee hybrid himself. Xisuma sat in his usual seat at the front of the large table; nervous buzzing emitting from the male in short bursts as he tapped his fingers anxiously on the table.

He held his breath each time a new hermit came in, avoiding their eyes as he listened to the stunned muttering or confused staring as everyone took their seats.

It didn't take too long before the other seats were taken by the other hermits, all eyes stared at the admin as he cleared his throat and shifted in his chair slightly.

"Uh, hello everyone, you probably know _why_ we're here considering the looks I'm getting." Xisuma began, glancing around the room as he watched almost everyone quickly look away from Xisuma.

The brunette shook his head with a sigh and ran a hand through his hair, avoiding his new antennae before continuing. "I died; and I respawned like this-" He said, gesturing to himself. "I don't know why, but I believe it has to do with the command used to revive myself."

Stress moved to place her server communicator from her lap and onto the table; the general way hermits symbolizes wanting to speak next.

"Yes, Stress?" Xisuma said, gaze shifting to her.

"So.. You're saying you were killed by a bee, and came back as a bee?" She said, watching as the Xisuma nodded.

"As far as I know; yes."

"Can you turn human again?"

Silence filled the meeting room as nervousness flashed through Xisuma's miscolored eyes before he hesitantly shook his head. "I don't think so."

Bdubs placed his communicator on the table next. "What do ya mean you don't know?" The freckled male asked.

"What do you think he means? He literally just said-" Doc began, only for Bdubs to shoot a glare in his direction.

"Oh hush, you don't have talking rights right now," Bdubs said, gesturing to his communicator.

"Not again." False began, rubbing her eyes as Xisuma honestly couldn't keep himself from beginning to smile. "Guys-"

Doc narrowed his eyes and snatched Bdubs' communicator from the table. "Oops, you lost your speaking rights." He said with a smirk, listening to the other squawk. "Hey!! No, you can't do that!!"

"Doc, Bdubs-"

The two didn't hear him as Bdubs grabbed at his communicator, only for Doc to hold it up and away. "Oh _ha ha_ real funny, ya freakin giant-"

"It's not my fault you're short."

Bdubs gawked at him. "I AM 5'10 THE AVERAGE MALE HEIGHT!" He said, shoving Doc slightly as he reached for his communicator; only to be shoved back.

"For the love of- LOVEBIRDS!" Xisuma yelled over the two.

The hermits around the table chuckled and snickered slightly at how that managed to get the pair's attention; along with making an embarrassed and confused flush rise to both of their faces.

Tango put his own communicator on the table and grinned. "You two don't respond to your names but respond to lovebirds? Xisuma might be onto something."

Bdubs huffed and finally grabbed his communicator from Doc. "He wishes."

Doc raised a brow before rolling his eyes and making a gagging motion, which Bdubs noticed. "Jackass."

"Anyways." Xisuma began with a small sigh, getting everybody's attention back to himself. "Let me finish explaining."

-

The meeting didn't take too long to finish up as Xisuma gave everybody the rundown; from what he tried he couldn't turn back to human, but could relatively shrink his bee characteristics down to be less noticeable.

That was as straightforward as the meeting really stayed, as right after Xisuma was quickly bombarded with questions about his new form. The originally serious meeting basically concluded with Stress sobbing as she played with Xisuma's hair, unable to stop talking about how fluffy it was.

Eventually, everybody began to leave either alone or in pairs. Leaving the final two hermits; Bdubs and Doc- alone in the meeting room.

Doc had been muttering to himself his next plans for his base while putting on his elytra. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Bdubs feeling around his inventory before taking out a bed.

The hybrid fully looked over at the builder as Bdubs placed the bed down and slipped into it to skip the night.

It didn't take long before Bdubs quickly found the bed missing from beneath him as his back hit the floor with a small thud. "Ow!" He squawked, sitting up as he looked from the smaller, floating bed by his legs to the snarky smile of Doc.

Bdubs narrowed his mismatched eyes and huffed. "Do you mind?!" He began, picking up the bed and getting up.

Doc smirked wider and shrugged. "No no, I don't mind." He said, watching as Bdubs kept his gaze on him as he set his bed down again.

The cycle repeated another time before Bdubs groaned, putting his bed away. "Okay, Yknow what mister? When you die to a phantom because you didn't sleep, don't you _dare_ complain about it."

Doc blinked, honestly taken aback at the Bdubs chose to respond before laughing slightly. "You think I'd die from a phantom?"

"Considering that you barely sleep, yes!"

The hybrid just rolled his eyes and watched as Bdubs set the bed down and settled into it.

He rolled his eyes slightly and opened his elytra before lighting a rocket, shooting out of the meeting room as the night sky quickly shifted to day as a result of Bdubs' skipping the night.

Doc internally went over the events of the meeting and sighed; getting used to the idea that if he died to a mob he'd come back as whatever killed him; was definitely going to be a challenge.

Although, knowing that he wouldn't come back through any other death scenario was even harder to grasp.

He continued going through what happened in the meeting, a small smile pulling at his face as he remembered just how annoyed Bdubs was at him for making the remark about his height.

How the shorter male's mismatched eyes stared into his with a look of irritation as Doc held the communicator away from him; how the flush on his face after Xisuma's remark brightened up his freckles.

'He's cute when he's annoyed'

The thought crossed his mind for less than a second before he paused, face flushing as he tried to figure out where the hell that thought came from.

He was distracted enough to crash straight into a tree at his half of the mansion, promptly getting himself tangled up in the branches and leaves.

Doc groaned, twisting around in an attempt to get himself unstuck with a small, annoyed groan.

The German didn't realize how long he had been attempting to get unstuck until a sting of confused laughter hit his ears. Embarrassment pulled at his face as he glanced around, eventually noticing Bdubs at the base of the tree, laughing.

"Heya Doc, how's it _hanging_ ! You seem to be in a _sticky_ situation there." Bdubs said, smirking slightly as Doc just kicked his legs.

"Oh shut up and help me down!" He yelled, watching Bdubs raise a brow.

"Yknow, I don't have to help you down with that attitude mister." He said, stepping back.

Doc's eyes widened and he groaned. "Fine! Fine, just- help me down." The German sheepishly muttered, watching the brunette's eyes light up.

Before Doc knew it, Bdubs had climbed up the tree and carefully untangled Doc's elytra from the branches, resulting in the taller male falling out of the tree with a small thud.

Bdubs climbed down after him and held a hand out to help Doc get up, a small smile across his face. "I can't be- _leaf_ you got yourself stuck in the tree."

Doc narrowed his eyes and got up himself, watching Bdubs press his lips into a thin line before dropping his hand back to his side. "You're not funny."

"You're clumsy."

"You're mean."

"You're impatient."

"Asshat."

"Piece of shit."

Bdubs narrowed his eyes and huffed. "God sometimes I wonder why I love you-"

They both fell silent, Doc's eyes widened as he stared down at the American, heat rising to his cheeks while watching Bdubs realize what he said.

He looked mortified as he put a hand over his mouth and stepped back, embarrassment growing in his eyes as he nervously laughed while struggling to get his rockets out.

"H-hey look at the time! I reeeally gotta get going man see ya-!"

Doc didn't have time to say anything as Bdubs activated his elytra and quickly flew past what part of the mansion Doc could see, disappearing out of the render distance.

His expression fell slightly and Doc sighed, moving a hand up to rub his eyes before turning and going into his half of the mansion.

He'd talk to Bdubs about that later.


	4. Chapter 4

Bdubs could not believe he just said that.

The back and forth bickering had him unconsciously saying it in response to Doc's insult. Sure, he would willingly admit that he's said things along those lines before; especially to Keralis.

He was so used to saying a simple 'Sometimes I wonder why your my best friend.' that he didn't catch onto the switch in words until it was already said and done.

He was humiliated. Embarrassment rushed to his cheeks and he honestly felt ready to cry after admitting that to Doc.

The American's feelings for the male began to develop back in season 5 when NHO started.

Something about the hybrid had majorly caught the interest of him, and so his original plan was to just befriend Doc.

Though, as their relationship grew, Bdubs found himself unable to stop thinking about the other. He found himself admiring Doc without even realizing it. His heart fluttered every time he was around him and finally, at a point, he was ready to tell the male.

But then something happened, and Bdubs left that season without a trace; along with the other NHO members.

Doc was the only one left.

Even after Bdubs had returned in the later end of season 6, Doc wanted nothing to do with him. He had Area 77 to deal with and brand new friends.

Their argument during the bidding for Grian's mansion as a starter in the next season hadn't helped.

As time went on at the beginning of season 7, their rivalry and internal hatred continued to strengthen. He wanted to hate Doc just as much as Doc hated him, but his feeling for the taller male had never faded.

The whole situation with the GOAT ruined any chance Bdubs thought he had at redeeming their friendship.

Bdubs had to throw attempting to fix their relationship out the window to keep himself safe, Doc was always on the lookout for Bdubs to get revenge; and even though he knew Doc would never kill him, it didn't stop the thought from running through his head as Doc had chased Bdubs into the mine.

He doesn't like to imagine what would've happened if his escape tunnel wasn't set up.

Finally, just as everything was starting to feel hopeless, they came to a conclusion. Bdubs would help Doc rebuild the GOAT and let it cast its judgment on him. In return; Doc would stop hunting down Keralis and Bdubs.

The rebuilding had gone well, while the judgement did not.

Bdubs hadn't even realized that the GOAT was its own being until he had been lifted up to it in the minecart.

One moment he was in the air with his health ticking down at the GOAT's "judgment" and the next moment he was back on the ground, health bar down to two shaking hearts as Doc rushed over, panic present across his face.

Even through all of that, Bdubs and Doc laughed it off; and for once Bdubs felt like things were normal between them again.

He just had to go and ruin everything by saying I love you.

Doc would never love him back, he was just the annoying neighbor that ruined Doc's plans for season seven.

Tears burned at his eyes and he blinked them back, stumbling to a landing in front of his house and promptly falling into the bushes.

Great.

He pushed himself up with a small groan and rubbed his head, it wasn't a very soft landing even with the leaves.

He shifted around slightly and sighed, picking a few leaves out of his hair before brushing himself off before going over his mental to-do list.

It was better to take his mind off of it.

-

Doc looked almost everywhere for Bdubs. He checked the shopping district, the farms behind Bdubs' cliff along with the rest of his base.

He checked Keralis' base, the nether, everywhere he could think of; but he just couldn't find the male.

In all honesty, he was worried. Bdubs was his own person, sure; but he was impulsive. Doc had no clue what Bdubs would do now that he had accidentally told Doc his feelings.

The entire situation made Doc's head spin, for years he had convinced himself that Bdubs was either just his friend or his enemy. He never bothered trying to understand how he really felt about the other. It was easier to just act like he didn't like him.

Doc sighed, taking out his communicator and messaging Bdubs again.

<Docm77> Bdubs, Cmon. We can talk about this

Instead of his message going unread, Doc got a reply.

<BdoubleO100> There's nothing to talk about, just leave it.

Doc furrowed a brow, hastily typing back a message and sending it

<Docm77> Bullshit, just- let me talk to you in person

<Message couldn't send>

Doc paused, staring down at his communicator as his eyes looked over the message.

"Did- did he just block me??"

The German brought a hand to his face and rubbed his temple, an annoyed sigh slipping past his lips before he messaged the general chat for the server.

<Docm77> Has anyone seen Bdubs? He just blocked me

<ImpulseSV> He,, blocked you? The hell did you do to get him to block you

<Docm77> Literally nothing, I've just been trying to contact him

<TangoTek> We have a boomer meeting today if you want us to get him?

<Docm77> That's definitely preferred over him ignoring me. Please do.

He watched Tango send back "Ok" and sighed again, running a hand through his brown locks before going to do his own thing for a while.

-

"Cmon Bdubs." Tango chuckled slightly as he watched Bdubs avoid looking at the other two boomers. "Remember how Impulse and Zedaph found out about my liking towards them? It was even worse than that."

Bdubs groaned, running a hand through his hair as he glanced over at Tango, a frown growing across his face. "Here's the difference; Impulse and Zedaph liked you back. Doc wouldn't like me back."

Impulse raised a brow as a look of skepticism flashed across his face. "Do you really know if he would or wouldn't like you back?"

"Impulse has a point."

"But I-"

"Just talk to him, dude!"

Bdubs stayed silent, staring at the two before groaning, putting his hands up dramatically. "Fine! Fine, I'll talk to him."

-

"Oh my g- there you are!" Doc's semi relieved voice hit Bdubs' ears and he pressed his lips into a thin line, turning around to face Doc.

Their eyes met and he swallowed, nervously shuffling on his feet. "Doc-"

A set of hands on his shoulders grabbed his attention and he took a breath. "I-uh-"

"I didn't mean to admit that but I did at the moment and I know you won't like me back but can we just pretend this never happened and keep our friendship how it is-??" He rambled nervously, squeezing his eyes shut to avoid Doc's gaze.

"No."

"N-No??" Bdubs said in a small voice, opening one eye.

"No. I'm- I'm not going to just pretend this never happened." Other than the stutter, the taller male's voice was stoic.

Bdubs felt his heart drop to the bottom of his chest, eyes widening as he stared at the male.

Doc noticed the look across Bdubs' face and continued talking. "-I'm not going to pretend this never happened because I like you back, Bdubs."

Bdubs paused, a confused flush rushing to his cheeks as his eyes locked onto Doc's, only now noticing the tinge of nervousness in the other's eyes.

"What-"

"I've been refusing to acknowledge how I feel about you, okay? I spent forever convincing myself that, I only liked you as a friend."

Bdubs couldn't believe what he was hearing

Was Doc really being honest?

He wasn't that cruel to lie, right?

The shorter male narrowed his eyes, raising a brow. "That's totally believable."

"I'm serious."

"No, you're not, Doc."

"Yes, I am, Bdubs."

"No-"

"Yes"

"Yes"

"No.. wait-"

"See! You just said it."

"Goddamnit Bdubs." Doc groaned, listening to the other chuckle softly under his breath, a small smile growing across his face as he looked up at Doc.

"So.. you're not lying to me.?"

The taller male moved his fleshed hand to grab Bdubs' and smiled slightly back, rubbing his thumb over the freckled male's knuckles softly.

"I may lie occasionally, but I would never lie to you about this," Doc said, cupping Bdubs' cheek with his robotic hand.

Bdubs smiled wider, putting a hand over Doc's.

A moment of silence passed between the two before Bdubs spoke up again.

"You do lie more than you think-"

Doc scrunched his nose up. "No, I don't!"

"Yes, you do."

"No."

"You're a liar."

"You're low tempered."

"Fucker."

"Gremlin."

"I love you"

"I love you too."

They both laughed together and Doc leaned down to peck the brunette on the lips, watching as Bdubs' face flushed slightly.

"Who knew the 'almighty goat father' could be so soft."

Doc squinted before narrowing his eyes and letting go of Bdubs, moving back.

"Awah no! Doc, I'm sorry." He said, laughing in between his short pause as he watched Doc try to look annoyed; although, that facade was slowly fading as a smile pulled at his face. "You're a dork."

"I am not!"

"You are."

Bdubs smiled slightly, and Doc smiled back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't have time to proofread this chapter. Sorry


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Read end for Author's note]

Bdubs felt good.

The encounter the day before gave him a boost in mood as he swiftly continued to build up bits of the cliff. A soft smile growing across his face each time he replayed in his head what Doc told him.

They didn't label their relationship yet, but they knew it was something.

And something was enough for Bdubs.

The sun was beginning to set over the horizon and Bdubs paused to watch it, a small smile growing across his face as the pink and orange colors merged together, tinges of blue from the sky mixed with the pinks and created shades of purple that complemented everything.

It was a very pretty sight, and he had completely forgotten about sleeping until his communicator buzzed and the night was skipped.

A disappointed frown grew across his face for less than a second before he smiled again, leaning over to grab his server communicator off a chest.

[WelsknightGaming went to bed. Sweet Dreams!]

<Xisumavoid> He beat you to it Bdubs.

<WelsknightGaming> I'm coming for your title as sleep king! >:)

Bdubs couldn't keep a chuckle and hastily replied

<BdoubleO100> You don't want this burden, Wels

A soft sigh left his lips and he glanced back out over the horizon. At least he knew what it felt like for someone sleeping to ruin the sunset.

He pushed his bandanna back up and smiled, turning back to continue working.

-

Bdubs couldn't help but feel like he was falling behind base progress wise.

He had managed to burn himself out of building the castle for a bit and in result had decided to go and visit some of the other hermits. The realization was quickly dawning on him that everyone was so far ahead.

The brunette's seen Scar's base before, the entire area was gorgeous and he honestly could not get over how lovely and magical everything looked and felt, and for a moment it made him feel like magic existed. Though, in a way it did.

Though, seeing just how much progress was made on both Scar, Mumbo, Grian, and Iskall's based in a sense made him feel like he was so far behind, all he had was his cliff and less than 5% of his castle done.

Sure; the small, comforting village counted as a part of his base, but it didn't feel like it was. He felt more like it was just a decoration, even if it served its purpose.

Bdubs didn't let it demotivate him; and instead, he just planned to work a little bit harder and get more progress done. Another night with no sleep never hurt anybody.

Besides, phantoms weren't going to spawn yet, right?

The night passed quicker than he expected and a smile pulled at his face, he was a bit tired, yeah; but he was satisfied with how much work he got done in the time span he had.

He listened to his communicator buzz and quickly felt around for the object, wiping a few beads of sweat off his forehead before gazing down at the messages.

<GoodTimesWithScar> Bdubs! I've got a bit of an idea for the shopping district but I need a second opinion, mind stopping by my base?

Bdubs stared at the message for a moment, he still had quite a few things to do that day; maybe he could stop by later

<BdoubleO100> Sure thing! Any specific time I should come by?

<GoodTimesWithScar> Later in the day would be best for me, but I can do now if you can't do later!

<BdoubleO100> Later works for me too!!

<GoodTimesWithScar> Sweet!! Cya then!

Bdubs couldn't keep a grin from growing at the idea of another addition to the shopping district and got back to work.

-

"So you think it's a good idea?" Excitement lined Scar's voice as he watched Bdubs quickly nod. "Of course! This is going to be wonderful!" He said, looping an arm around Scar's shoulders with a smile. "You've got such wonderful ideas! Oh, I can't wait!"

Scar couldn't keep a delighted giggle in and nodded vigorously as he glanced around unconsciously. "Ooh, nighttimes' on its way Bdoubleo! Are you finally going to reclaim your title as the sleep king?"

Bdubs nodded slightly and quickly felt around his inventory, pausing at the lack of a bed.

He took out his end chest and set it down, hastily looking through it. "Oh, you've gotta be kiddin me!!" The brunette squawked, realizing he had no bed.  
  
Scar laughed a bit and pat Bdubs on the back with a smile. "Better luck next time man." He said before heading back into his snail.

Bdubs watched him go off into the snail and smiled slightly before his gaze shifted around the area. He had never been a huge fan of the jungle. It was a jumble of foliage and trees and all around just bought back memories he wished to forget.

Though, a part of him missed the greenery and beauty of the biome. So after a few minutes of deciding whether he was just going to head back home or stay longer, he chose option B.

Spreading the wings of his elytra and shooting into the sky turned out easier than he expected as he didn't bang into the trees leaves. A small smile spreading across his face as he looked around the area, just the view was astonishing.

Grian's build looked fantastic, both the small hobbit hole and the gigantic mansion that stood on top of the custom made hill, even Bdubs was taken aback by how wonderful it looked.

Mumbo's futuristic yet ruined themed base contrasted with the magical and fantasy vibe of the entirety of Scar's base.

Stress' base off in the distance was already beautiful in his eyes, and he found himself gawking at Iskall's tree.

He was so lost in admiring the builds, that he didn't realize it got later into the night until the sound of a phantom ripped through the silence of the night sky.

Bdubs was in deep shit

He was quick to spam a large number of rockets and shoot off, swerving around in the air as he tried to figure out where someone- anyone's base was- He just needed to get to safety.

A phantom just barely knocked into his side and he winced, body lighting up red as his health knocked down half a point.

His heart was banging in his ears as he realized that no matter how fast he flew, the phantoms would be faster.

Bdubs felt his flight get shaky and quickly assumed it was due to just how fast he was flying, a glimmer of hope shot through him as he saw the silhouette of Grian's mansion off in the distance, he was so close.

And before he knew it, he was falling.

Bdubs gasped for air as the speed he fell quickly increased and pushed the air out of his lungs, tears flooded to his eyes as he frantically looked through his inventory in an attempt to find water, a totem, or literally anything that could save his life.

He didn't want to die like that, back in season 6 falling to your death was painful, it tore your physical form apart and then you respawned sore and abnormally tired.

But Bdubs wouldn't respawn now, he squeezed his eyes shut and braced himself for death.

Instead, death never came

Bdubs hit the ground hard.

Pain flared up his spine and through his shoulder as his body slammed into the jungle ground, the leaves and bushes did little to soften the impact and Bdubs let out a shriek, quickly followed by a sob.

His body shook in pain as tears slipped down his cheeks, and his communicator laid broken underneath his crumpled body. He had no way of telling anyone where he was or what happened.

The brunette's body was covered in a plethora of bruises and scrapes from the fall after he scratched against the branches. A glance at his health bar showed and left just one half of a shaking red heart. Shit.

Bdubs took a shaky breath and tried to move and sit up, flinching hard as the pain just increased and quickly had him falling back to the ground fully with another cry.

Even though he was alive, this felt like a worse punishment than death. Why hadn't he just slept?

His eyes widened as another phantom shriek tore through the sky and his breathing caught in his throat as he hesitantly turned his head enough to look up at the sky.

The silhouette of a phantom came into his render distance and progressively got closer and closer to him.

He was going to die.

Alone.

Only left with his thoughts and the realization that he was never going to see his friends again. He was never going to see Doc again. After all, he was in the middle of the jungle leafage with no way of showing where he was. Even if anybody realized he died, it would be too late when they found him.

Bdubs just hiccuped weakly, letting his eyes slip shut as he hesitantly relaxed against the ground. His mind fogged up with memories and thoughts of what he could've done differently, thoughts of how he could've survived this if he just did something, anything differently.

His thoughts were cut off as he screamed, the feeling of the phantom's body slamming into him and breaking his spine in two while digging its fangs into his back quickly had his vision quickly turning black, and he went limp.

_[Bdoubleo100 was slain by Phantom]_

-

"What now-?!" Grian squawked as the feeling of something tangled up in his wings grabbed his attention, working and just getting around the nether always proved annoying as there was always one thing or another getting caught in his wings

He reached back and ran a hand through his feathers, straightening a few out before he gripped whatever had gotten caught in his feathers.

A singular golden rose laid in his hand, and a chill ran up his spine.

"Oh god, Bdubs-"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [A/N! I know I'm constantly shifting between getting chapters out quickly or slowly, and I apologize sincerely for that  
> I just started my first day of high-school and in result there's a high chance chapters along with any other one-shots are going to be coming in at a slow rate. I apologize about that too.  
> This might be the newest chapter for a few weeks, as I need to start paying attention to school]
> 
> [Thank you for reading chapter 5!! I'll see you when I get the chance :) ]


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